Scrooge+theGrinch+Daddy Warbucks....

   Merry Christmas Everyone! No matter what religion or beliefs you have on this holiday, be with the ones you love & send a holiday greeting to the ones you don't. This season, if you know anyone going through a difficult or lonely time, extend a hand to them or even a simple call letting them know you are thinking of them & wish them well. Even a text can make someone smile.

"It's CHRISTMAS, Charlie Brown!"

   I, myself, am not in the Christmas spirit. In the past few days, my mom started a nonsensical

argument with me, my boyfriend Mati is being an asshole

downer, and I lost my mind cat for 1/2 a day yesterday.

First, my mom calls me on Friday while I was babysitting & starts going off on me and being aggressive about how I don't spend enough time with family because of my boyfriend. I explain to her (like I have numerous times) that the last week of December, he will be moving back with his parents. Meaning he will be working 10-13 hr days (he's a chef remember) and will go back to his parents house if he is tired or we drive to see one another for an hr or two then go home. I won't be able to spend the night at his house after he is off work anymore.I usually wait up until 12am when he is working just so I can drive 40 mins, hang out for 2 hrs, then sleep. All just to spend ANY time I can have with him.
 The only time we will be able to spend together is if he gets out of work early or has a day off. She just doesn't GET that I am just trying to spend as MUCH time as I can before he moves w/ his parents & I won't be able to have quality time for us anymore. Plus he is planning to visit his home country, Argentina, in February... then plans to take a kitchen job in Germany in March. Meaning, he won't be here for Valentine's Day OR our birthdays (March 7th). That to me is a total stab in the heart.

Anyways, so my mom keeps arguing with me about it on the phone. For SOMEONE who "doesn't see" family often, I seem to be around family alllll the time. On Mondays, I do a favor for my auntie of spending the night at her house to watch my 15 yr old cousin since my aunt works nights, Weds & Fri's I babysit for my older cousin from 8am to 6pm to watch her 2 yr old son, and I'm at my Grandparent's house every other day when Mati is busy working! Now you tell me who isn't family oriented?!? Cause it SEEMS to me that I'm surrounded by family almost everyday of the week! My mom KNOWS I'm going through a difficult time with Mati because he might leave the country but she STILL decides to have an argument with no point! I tell Mati about the argument with a heavy heart & he comes home with flowers for me to cheer me up.

"Forgive me for I will turn into an Asshole tmw, Flowers"

  With Mati, he is the biggest Scrooge/Grinch/Daddy Warbucks I've ever met. He doesn't care to celebrate holidays, isn't in the "christmas spirit" or any holiday spirit, puts me down when I want to do "christmasy" things... yet buys great presents & is eager to make me happy (but of course doesn't care to wrap them so I will be excited to unwrap them). I am happy and have a happy spirit by nature, so when others try to bring me down or even bring me down after I try so hard to make the holiday special for OTHERS, they just don't care. That's the issue with Mati.

 The other day, I had my own plans to run around & think of creative gifts for my mom & him because I'm extremely low on cash. All the presents I got were paid for with Gift Cards I had received last Christmas but forgot to use. Mati said he still needed to get my gift, so I told him we can go to the Mall together & split up because I still needed to buy a few things for him. Later, he then decided to change the plans (like usual) & we go to his parent's house to visit before they took off on vacation to Cabo San Lucas. We stay longer than I expected which makes me upset because he KNOWS I have things I wanted to finish. It's then 11:30pm and too late to shop at small department stores that are closed now. I get upset & he starts lashing out that I always push him to do things when he doesn't want to and just wants to enjoy his week off until he is called into work. I get extremely upset because I ASKED him if he need to get anything at the Mall because I was going there later. HE said he wanted to get my gift from there. HE SAID. I bring that up to him & what do I get? "Kala, you are always causing drama. I don't know what's up with you. You are running around trying to get presents when who cares!" I get extremely emotional and yell out that most of these gifts are for HIM! How ungrateful can you be?? I have little/no money & spending my Gift Cards on others, mostly him! He yells out "I don't care! Don't give them to me."

I lost it after that. He says I PUSH him to do things... YES. Only when you TELL me you want to do it in the beginning of the day (common example: working out) & then change your mind at night and ACCUSE me of pushing you to do it. He tells me almost everyday that he needs to stay in shape because he gains weight quick. When I motivate him, it's PUSHING... when I stop motivating him, he says I'm making him LAZY. All I want to say is FUCK YOU & Merry Christmas.

   My kitty, Niko, was missing for hours yesterday!!! Mati has two roommates who are cool, but one of them is irresponsible. At 40 yrs of age. See men, that is what happens to you when you don't become responsible for your life. You are 40 yrs old, no car, no house of your own, no kids, nothing close to a wife, and can't even pick up after yourself. Well, his "booty call" girl comes late at night and either him or the girl left the front door open enough for Niko to escape! This is NOT the first time & everytime, Mati's roommate seems to not care & is clueless. Or maybe because he smokes ....

 We had no idea he was gone until 7am yesterday morning when Mati's roomie asked him if the cat was in our room. I cried and cried, we made posters of him and nailed them around the neighborhood, we walked & drove around the neighborhood calling his name to no avail. Finally, he came leisurely strolling up to Mati's sliding back door wanting to be let in. I screamed out of joy & relief and scooped him up, petting and kisses galore.

"As an indoor cat, I just wanted to explore outside & pee in some grass...is that so wrong?!"

 

These past few days have been challenging & is making me lose hope in many things...

Merry Christmas,

K